Gender and the Family

The Postmodern Family

DIVERSITY OF CONTEMPORARY FAMILIES

American men and women are slowly moving toward a blending of gender and family roles and away from traditional notions of wives and husbands, mothers and fathers. There is a growing recognition that changes in the gender-based division of labor will propel us toward equality between men and women at home.(Image courtesy of photostock/FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

Postmodern feminist sociologist, Judith Stacey (1996) notes that “no longer is there a single culturally dominant family pattern like the “modern” family; one to which a majority of citizens conform and most of the rest aspire. Instead, postindustrial conditions have compelled and encouraged us to craft a wide array of family arrangements which we inhabit uneasily and reconstitute frequently as our occupational and personal circumstances shift.” The contested, ambivalent and undecided character of our contemporary family cultures is what Stacey uses to define the “postmodern family.”
Household Projection and Family Type
Family Type 2000 2010 2020
Married w/ no kids <18 29.4 31.7 33.0
Married with kids 25.4 23.0 21.5
Single Parent 7.7 7.1 6.6
Other Family 5.7 5.9 6.0
Single Person 26.0 26.5 27.5
Other Non-Family 5.9 5.8 5.4
TOTAL 100% 100% 100%
Source: Joint Center for Housing Studies, Harvard University, March 2006.

ARTICLE: The Female World of Cards and Holidays: Women, Families, and the Work of Kinship
by Micaela Di Leonardo (1987)
“Why is it that the married women of America are supposed to write all the letters and send all of the cards to their husbands’ families?” (pp440)
“Women’s place in man’s life cycle has been that of nurturer, caretaker, and helpmate, the weaver of those networks of relationships on which she in turn relies” (pp440)
Women are responsible to maintain kin-centered networks. “Maintaining these contacts, this sense of family, takes time, intention, and skill…it is largely women’s work.” (pp443) ‘Women are ultimately responsible, and subject to both guilt and blame’ in their responsibilities “…as the administrators of home, children, and kin network.” (pp449)
Think about the kinship work men and women are responsible for. How does this issue apply to your life?

PRINCIPLE OF LEAST INTEREST (Waller)
Waller states that the person who is “least interested” in the relationship has more power, power over the other partner as well as power in the overall relationship itself. He states that in most relationships there is one person who has more power than the other person, typically it is the individual who has more resources, financial or otherwise. The individual who is “least interested” is also less emotionally connected. This situation is also correlated to partner violence and dependence.

THE MOTHER’S EXPERIENCE
Studies show that a mother’s experience is quite different than a father’s experience. Since mothers and fathers have different role expectations in most instances their overall experiences are very different. Regardless of work status Mother’s spend more time with their children than fathers do. Women’s time with their children is more likely to involve child care and child maintenance whereas father’s time with their children is more likely to involve playing with their children (Roxburgh, 2006). How do you think this affects the relationship between one’s mother in contrast to one’s father? Data also indicates that mothers spend more hours with their children than fathers (almost three times as many hours overall before a child is eighteen years old). Finally, data shows that mothers engage in more “emotional work” (thinking about their children, worrying about their children, and thinking about things they need to do for their children – like make a doctors appointment or homework that needs completing) than fathers.

ARTICLE: “The Price of a Mom”
The ten jobs moms do on an average day: “housekeeper, day care center teacher, cook, computer operator, laundry machine operator, janitor, facilities manager, van driver, CEO, and psychologist.” The amount a mother would earn for her work adds up to between $131,000-$138,000 each year. “The study took into account the average salaries of people who do some ‘mom duties’ full time: day-care center teacher ($26,891), van driver ($30,762), housekeeper ($18,750), cook ($31,099), CEO ($612,623), nurse ($56,113), and general maintenance worker ($29,656). (Source: salary.com)

HOMOSEXUAL PARENTS
Seventy-five percent of lesbians are in stable monogamous relationships. Fifty percent of gay men are in stable monogamous relationships. There are approximately 600,000 gay households in the United States. Most of these households include children.
Do you think that there is a greater likelihood that the children raised by homosexual parents will also be gay? What do you think mental health professionals (past and present) state about the gay or lesbian parent’s “fitness” as a parent? Do you think the children raised by homosexual parents are well adjusted, socially and psychologically?
The problems homosexual families are faced with are similar to the issues faced by heterosexual families. Added to the “typical” problems faced by families these families faced discrimination and inequality (homophobia, discrimination, abuse, and legal inequalities). Homosexual parents and their children state that the “biggest problem” they deal with is STRESS due to homophobia. The children of homosexual couples face homophobia and discrimination in school. Studies have found that these children are no more likely to identify as a homosexual than those children raised by heterosexual couples. Studies have also found that these children are more tolerant of others and differences, are less likely to stereotype, and are more likely to subscribe to non-traditional gender norms and roles.
It should also be noted that the legal issues faced by homosexual couples (child adoption, child custody, and power of attorney) denotes a cultural lag in society as our system “lags” in the ability to deal with such issues, laws are not in place and many of the institutions have not been prepared to deal with these issues.

Applying Social Theory
Can you apply our three main social theories to the issue of homosexual couples as parents?

THE WAY WE NEVER WERE AND THE WAY WE REALLY ARE (Stephanie Coontz)
Stephanie Coontz wrote two sequential books on United States families through a socio-historical approach (The Way We Were and The Way We Really Are). She thoroughly examined the “myth” of the nuclear, traditional family that consisted of a breadwinner father and a stay-at-home mother. She also examined race, gender, and social class as it relates to the changing American family.

Chapter 9: Working With What We’ve Got (Coontz)
– How a family functions is more important than its structures or its formal roles (the roles do contribute to the overall functioning of the family, Camelot).
Parenting Roles: Authoritarian parenting is restrictive, controlling, and more concerned with the adults’ need for order and obedience than with the children’s developmental tasks. Discipline often takes the form of punishment. Tends to produce close parent-child relations and competent children.

Permissive parents are responsible, but undemanding and almost always willing to negotiate a decision. Tends to end with little self-confidence and involvement in undesirable activities for the children. (Both extremes of these parenting styles can lead to anti-social behavior and poor school performance).

The male breadwinner family seems to be beneficial to the health and happiness of men, so long as they can live up to their provider role. Homemakers with young children tend to be more depressed than other groups of women.

Two-earner families: less family time together and more likely to quarrel over housework. Couples were happier when the men helped out more with housework and childcare.
Two parent advantages also apply to gay and lesbian couples. Ninety-nine percent of children being raised in gay or lesbian families were born within marriage and live with a parent who came out after a divorce. Lesbian couples on average have greater parenting awareness skills than heterosexual parents and they tend to share child care and housework equitably.
Single parent homes: involves one parent that provides the financial and emotional resources. Parent usually spends less time supervising housework and less likely to attend extracurricular activities and school programs for their kids. They tend to spend more time talking to their children. Adolescents raised in this setting face fewer pressures to conform to traditional gender roles and tend to be more mature.

Remarriage and stepfamilies: A good relationship with a stepparent appears to strengthen a child’s emotional life and academic achievement (stepfamily success is dependent on several factors: blended family, where each group of children primarily live, parental roles, social class, etc.).

According to Coontz, today’s families need:
1) If child support enforcement cannot occur, supplemental income support programs and/or realistic job programs for single mothers need to be enacted.
2) Programs on child development should be incorporated in high school classes, so kids learn what parenting is all about.
On the future of the family… Coontz stated, “At first glance, it may seem depressing to think of our current family problems as part of a much larger socioeconomic crisis. But surely it is even more depressing to think that the problems are caused by people’s rotten values or irremediable selfishness. …For, despite all the difficulty of making generalizations about past families, the historical evidence suggests that families have been most successful wherever they have built meaningful, solid networks and commitments beyond their own boundaries” (1992, pg. 287-288).

LINKS TO Birth Choice, Planned Parenthood, and Laura’s House
Birth Choice: http://www.birthchoiceoc.org/
Planned Parenthood: http://www.plannedparenthood.org/
Laura’s House: http://www.laurashouse.org/

CHILD CARE
What are the pros and con’s the childcare (nanny, home daycare, daycare facilities, or early preschool programs)? Since our families are so different today and many women work outside of the home there has been an increase in the use of outside childcare. Our society has changed from the Mothering Approach (mothers are the best individuals to be primarily responsible for socializing children) to the Parenting Approach (either or both parents) and finally we have landed in the Marketing Approach (we hire other individuals to complete many of our family life needs including socializing our children). Company on-site childcare is one option that has been found to assist families with their childcare needs and data has found it is best for the children and the parents (note that only 2% of companies offer this today; studies also show that these companies have increased their profits after implementing on-site child care and have dramatically decrease their employee turnover rates). Other options that several families have decided to do is have the parents have non-overlapping shifts (the parents work opposite shifts). This saves money on childcare and ensures that the children are socialized by their parents; however, data shows that these are some of the most fragile marriages as they often “neglect the marriage” as the couple rarely has time for each other. Finally studies indicate that children of dual-earner parents are more likely to state they wish their lives were less rushed (Roxburgh, 2006).

1996 Welfare Reform Law: The Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Act of 1996 (PRWORA) abolished the AFDC (Aid to Families with Dependent Children) and replaces it with the Temporary Assistance to Needy Families (TANF). This established a state regulated, fixed temporary assistance to poor families for up to five years. Some believed that a lack of jobs, only five years of support, and few child care resources at decent costs and care keep many disadvantaged on the welfare system. Others say that the five year time frame gets people moving and discourages reliance on the ‘system’ their whole life (Cherlin, 1996).
The United State has expanded the need for care while simultaneously contracting the supply of care. Arlie Hochschild a UC Berkeley Sociology Professor and pioneer researcher in women, work, family, and child care studies details four cultural models of care:
1. Traditional Model: Retire women to the home where they provide unpaid care. Calls for wholesale reversal of industrialization and a de-liberation of women.
2. Postmodern Model: The very need for care is denied and the problem of making that need visible is erased. “Child in self-care” in which children are caring for themselves, independently (i.e. everyone is on their own; self-help books to solve problems).
3. Cold-Modern Model: Instate of all care (i.e. nursing homes, child care).
4. Warm-Modern Model: Combines characteristics that are both warm and modern. Calls for basic changes in men’s participation of care and the structure of work. Public institutions provide some care while the remaining care is divided between men and women (i.e. give $1,000 a month to stay at home for a chosen period).
Which model would you propose?

DIVORCE AND CHILD SUPPORT
Many marriages end in divorce and in most of these instances the children live with their mother. Recent data on child support indicates that 25% of those who are supposed to receive child support actually do receive the support, 55% of the child support payments are late or less than the awarded amount is paid, and 20% receive no child support at all. How does this affect the family, single-parents, and the children?

Chapter Review Questions:
What are some examples of how families have changed over the past 50 years?
How have women’s roles within the family and the status of women within the family evolved throughout history?
Explain the social construction of families and how family forms and norms vary according to group or cultural norms as well as throughout history.
Explain Bernard’s research on how marriages are viewed and experienced differently by men and women.
How are families influenced and affected by class, race, and gender?
What is the family ideal?
How does divorce affect women and children?
How do women and men balance work and family?
Explain the issues that affect power within marriages.
How does cohabitation prior to marriage affect marriages?
Explain the similarities between previous views of interracial marriage and current views of same-sex marriages.

Compare and contrast the characteristics and expectations of the mothers’ role and the fathers’ role.
How has the father’s role increasingly changed in recent years?
What are some of the key characteristics of African American, Latino, Chicano, Asian American, and Native American families and how have changes in the American society affected these families?

How do race, class, and gender oppression affect and structure family life?
What have studies found in terms of why battered women stay?
Who are the most likely victims of sexual abuse?
What are the effects of childhood abuse?
How do the traditional family norms contribute to family violence?
According to the data what are the outcomes of abstinence only programs?
What is the relationship between traditional gender-role orientation and teen pregnancy?

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